If celestial bodies were single and ready to mingle, the solar system would be the hottest dating app in the galaxy. Here’s how the planets would present themselves in their bios.
Bio:
Largest planet in the solar system, no big deal. Always bringing the good vibes (and storms that last centuries). Protective, wise, and just a little extra. Bonus points for having 95 moons—never lonely!
Swipe Status:
Right! Who wouldn’t want to date the king of planets?
Bio:
Stunning. Elegant. The one with the rings. Loves long orbits around the sun and deep conversations about cosmic mysteries. Might be out of reach but always worth the chase.
Swipe Status:
Left, because let’s be honest, too high-maintenance.
Bio:
Fiery, passionate, and always up for an adventure. Has a history of being a little too intense, but promises to take it slow… this time. Fitness freak, always working on that
red planet physique.
Swipe Status:
Right, but prepare for drama.
Bio:
Love language? All of them. Obsessed with beauty, poetry, and candlelit craters. Sulfuric acid rain is just an aesthetic choice. High temperatures, high expectations.
Swipe Status:
Right, for the romance, but the heat might be overwhelming.
Bio:
Moves fast, talks faster. Always juggling a million things, so don’t expect long replies. Ghosts unintentionally because time works differently when orbiting the sun at warp speed.
Swipe Status:
Left, because no one likes being left on read.
Neptune – The Mysterious One
Bio:
Quiet but deep. Loves the ocean, space poetry, and chilling in the farthest corners of the solar system. Might take a while to warm up (literally), but totally worth it.
Swipe Status:
Right for those who love a slow burn.
Uranus – The Eccentric Wildcard
Bio:
Rotates differently from everyone else—because being normal is overrated. Unpredictable, fun, and always full of surprises.
Swipe Status:
Right, but be ready for chaos.
Pluto – The Underdog
Bio:
Might not be
officially
a planet, but still out here trying. Small, distant, and misunderstood. Just looking for someone who sees the value beyond the labels.
Swipe Status:
Right, because Pluto deserves love.
The real question: Is the perfect planetary match written in the stars?
Discover everything about astrology at the Times of India, including daily horoscopes for Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces.
