The solar system might look like a peaceful, orderly family, but behind the scenes, there’s enough gossip to fuel a reality show. If planets could talk, they’d be whispering about each other faster than Mercury on an espresso binge.
Mercury on
“Thinks it’s the main character just because it has life. Move over, drama queen—some of us are literally on fire.”
“All that red, all that aggression…overcompensating for something?”
Earth on
“Nobody needs to be that big. It’s just flexing at this point.”
Mars on Venus
“Claims to be about love but is literally hotter than an oven. Sounds toxic.”
Jupiter on Saturn
“We get it, the rings are pretty. But how many accessories does one planet need?”
Saturn on Uranus
“Tilts at a weird angle, acts like it’s unique. Sweetheart, we’re all spinning. Sit down.”
Uranus on Neptune
“The quiet one that looks all mysterious. Probably hiding a double life.”
Neptune on Pluto
“Still not over being kicked out of the ‘official planet’ club. Someone get this guy a therapist.”
Pluto on Everyone
“Oh, so NOW everyone wants to talk to me? Interesting. Real interesting.”
In the end, the planets might throw shade, but they’re stuck in this cosmic family forever. And like every family, no matter how much they roast each other, they know deep down…they’d be lost without their weird, dysfunctional solar squad.
Discover everything about astrology at the Times of India, including daily horoscopes for Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces.
