Australian researchers say they have debunked the “monogamy-superiority myth” that one-on-one romantic relationships are better than those with multiple partners.
Research published on Wednesday in the Journal of Sex Research suggests that people in polyamorous, open or “monogamish” relationships have similar levels of satisfaction to those in monogamous relationships.
Polyamorous relationships involve multiple consenting partners, while open relationships involve a primary partnership but allow sexual encounters with others – and “monogamish” means a relationship that is neither fully open nor entirely monogamous.
The researchers – from La Trobe University, Australian Catholic University and RMIT University – carried out what they believe is the first meta-analysis of academic work in the area, looking at 35 studies including almost 25,000 people. Comparing the sexual and relationship satisfaction of consensually non-monogamous people and monogamous people, they found no significant differences.
Monogamy is a social norm, they wrote, and there is a widespread perception it offers increased satisfaction, stability and a safe environment for child-rearing. In western society, especially, there is a theme of “monogamy as a moral choice, guided by religion and/or sociocultural norms”.
The research’s lead author, associate professor Joel Anderson, from La Trobe University’s Australian Research Centre in Sexuality, Health and Society, said the group’s findings that different types of relationships had similar satisfaction levels debunked the idea that monogamous relationships were better.
Those findings could show the importance of infidelity in relationship breakdowns, he said.
“Monogamous relationships are often assumed to offer greater satisfaction, intimacy, commitment, passion and trust than non-monogamous ones. This widespread belief – what we term as the ‘monogamy-superiority myth’ – is often reinforced by stereotypes and media narratives,” Anderson said.
“Our theory as to why these findings have occurred, perhaps, is down to what we’d argue is the most common issues in relationships, and certainly the most common factor in relationship breakdown: infidelity.
“People in non-monogamous relationships often have agreements with their partner/s which mean infidelity isn’t a relevant factor in their relationships, whereas it is naturally a heartbreaking experience for those in monogamous relationships.”
The researchers also speculated that greater openness in non-monogamous relationships, and more effort put into communication and understanding, could offset difficulties caused by any stigma around the relationship structure.
“It could be that their satisfaction levels counter this discrimination since they likely experience more variety and an increased sense of free will within relationships,” the researchers wrote.
“What we see is that those in non-monogamous relationships have great relationships and great sex, in spite of the fact that their relationships come under scrutiny in most societies, and in spite of the fact that they experience differential or even prejudiced treatment because of their relationships structures, which are viewed as out of the norm,” Anderson said.
The research also highlighted that non-monogamy could allow people “to have a wide variety of needs met” by different partners.
“[It] enables individual growth, autonomy and development … and in turn this growth may lead to an increase in relationship and sexual satisfaction,” researchers wrote.
The research noted some limitations on the studies involved, including that people generally chose to participate, self-reported their satisfaction levels, and came from English-speaking countries.
In a report based on 2022 data, Relationships Australia found about 6% of Australians had been in an open relationship and said that “open relationships, polyamorous relationships, consensual non-monogamy and ethical non-monogamy may be an emerging relationship type that is growing in popularity”.
Priscilla Dunk-West, a professor in social work at Victoria University, said people in non-monogamous relationships are more reflexive by necessity, having to learn and talk about how those relationships work.
“They’re thinking, ‘What kind of relationship do I want?’,” she said.
“You get these clusters of people who understand that language. What emerges is things such as considering consent, how loving practices occur … and radical honesty.”