If zodiac signs ran a corporate office, some would climb the ladder effortlessly, while others would send that
“As per my last email”
message one too many times. HR is watching—who’s getting a raise, and who’s walking out with a cardboard box?
Promoted to CEO
Capricorn
– Works overtime without complaining, meets deadlines before they exist, and somehow knows everything about corporate law. Never seen leaving the office. Promotion was inevitable.
Virgo
– The reason meetings don’t turn into chaos. Finds every mistake, corrects them before disaster strikes, and probably has color-coded spreadsheets for office supplies. Gets promoted purely for being
irreplaceable.
Fast-Tracked for a Raise
Leo
– Doesn’t just work hard—makes sure everyone knows it. Boosts team morale, wins over the boss, and always gets credit (even for team projects). Raises hand first in meetings.
Taurus
– Arrives at exactly 9:00 AM, leaves at 5:00 PM, and somehow outperforms everyone. Work is done with minimal effort but maximum efficiency. HR respects the dedication to
vibes over stress.
The Wildcards
Gemini
– Starts projects with enthusiasm but
forgets
to finish them. Talks circles around HR when questioned. Somehow still employed because nobody can confirm what their job actually is.
Aquarius
– Questions every office rule, starts a petition for “Work-from-Anywhere Fridays,” and argues with HR over unnecessary policies. Too innovative to fire, too rebellious to promote.
On Thin Ice
Aries
– Too impatient for meetings, interrupts everyone, and accidentally insults the manager during a brainstorming session. HR is watching closely.
Scorpio
– Works in silence, has an air of mystery, and probably knows what everyone is getting paid. HR isn’t sure if they’re a valuable employee or a secret threat.
Fired on Day One
Pisces
– Turns in reports that read like poetry. Cries in the break room after minor feedback. HR gives a sympathy warning before sending the termination email.
Sagittarius
– Takes unlimited coffee breaks, books vacations mid-project, and once sent an email from a beachside resort. Fired but doesn’t care—already has a backpacking trip planned.
HR has spoken. Capricorn is boss, Pisces is packing up, and Gemini still hasn’t responded to emails. Corporate astrology has never been so real.
Discover everything about astrology at the Times of India, including daily horoscopes for Aries, Taurus, Gemini, Cancer, Leo, Virgo, Libra, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Capricorn, Aquarius, and Pisces.