Stephen “tWitch” Boss became a household name as DJ and co-executive producer of “The Ellen DeGeneres Show,” but he first rose to fame as a dancer. It’s how he met his wife, fellow dancer Allison Holker, whom he married in 2013.
They were raising their three children together when he took his life in December 2022, just three days after celebrating his 9th wedding anniversary.
More than two years after his death, some members of Boss’ family are opening up in an exclusive TV interview with “CBS Mornings.”
“He truly was kind and caring and always wanting to make sure you were OK and taking care of you,” Boss’ mother, Connie Boss Alexander said. “We were a very affectionate family. So very affectionate.”
Family reflects on last moments with Boss
Alexander said she last texted with Boss on Dec. 12, 2022. She said it was an ordinary conversation where they talked about work and his children’s Christmas list. The next morning, Alexander said she received a phone call from Holker asking if she had heard from him.
Hours later, Boss was found dead in a hotel room with a self-inflicted gunshot wound. Alexander’s brother, Alan, told her the news.
“I just remember Alan saying, ‘Connie, he’s gone’ and I just dropped. I just, you can’t imagine those words.”
Alexander said she is still processing her son’s death and what she said happened next when she flew to California to be with Holker and her grandchildren.
“The intent was to grieve together, be a family together, ’cause we are family, we’re Boss and we wanted to be there for her,” Alexander said.
NDAs following Boss’ death
Alexander said following her son’s death, she got a phone call from Holker’s team saying the family needed to sign non-disclosure agreements.
“We were like, ‘why, what’s going on? What is this for?'”
Alexander said she was told Boss’ grandfather sold a story to a magazine.
“If you know my dad, he is the most respected, the most integrity, (he) would never do that,” Alexander said.
She explained that a magazine did call her father and said amid his grief he only answered questions.
“He’s answering the questions, and, you know, saying, we’re grieving. We don’t know what happened, whatever the answers were,” Alexander said, adding that asking for the NDA is when the friction began.
“It became, if you don’t sign, you will not be able to see him and you will not be able to participate,” Alexander said about plans to restrict her and her family from Boss’ funeral unless they signed.
She said she signed a revised version of the nondisclosure agreement so that she could see her son before he was cremated.
“To make me sign a document, to see the child that I brought into the world, I can’t even put into words what that feels like,” Alexander said.
In her now-released memoir, “This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light,” Holker expressed concern about photos of Boss leaking to the public.
Alexander acknowledged that some people may try to take advantage of their story.
“I truly understand that. I guess my issue with it is that we are a family. I’m his mother. What did you honestly think I was going to do?” she asked.
The family shared a copy of the initial confidentiality agreement with CBS News, which Boss’ younger brother, Dre Rose, said was sent by Holker’s assistant three days after Boss’ death. It names Holker, her family and Boss as beneficiaries and says that confidential information about their “professional or business endeavors,” “personal life …” and “…any photographs, films or videos” cannot be disclosed “even in the course of casual discussion to any person or entity.”
In a revised version of the NDA, the Boss family and Holker’s team changed the terms of the agreement from an unlimited time to apply only to the information learned between the time of Boss’ death and his memorial service.
“It was presented to us as, ‘we don’t want pictures at the wake and funeral and things of that nature,'” Rose said. “But if you have that in the beginning of the NDA, and then in the fine print it says all these other things that are included, that’s the concern.”
Family claims details in Holker’s memoir surprised them
More than two years after Boss’ death, Holker published “This Far: My Story of Love, Loss, and Embracing the Light.”
A People magazine article that previewed the book included details Holker shared about Boss’ marijuana use, and a “cornucopia” of other drugs she allegedly found in their home after his death.
The People magazine article also included details about Boss’ private journals, where Holker said Boss alluded to being sexually abused as a child by a trusted male figure in his life. Alexander said she was not aware of the alleged abuse.
“I guess my thought is, first of all, that was his story to tell,” she said.
Some of the details also shocked Rose.
“I knew that recreationally he’s used or tried things. That wasn’t a shock to me,” Rose said. “This cornucopia of drugs, that had to be Googled … We don’t know anything to be true … It’s someone else’s version and if that is the truth, there could have been a better way to bring that to the family.”
Rose said he didn’t know about the possible sexual abuse of Boss when he was a child, saying it was a shock to him and their father.
“So now you have our family looking at each other, like, well, what happened?” he said. “We didn’t know anything of that nature.”
Rose admitted it’s a possibility that Holker knew things about Boss that the rest of his family did not know because of their marital relationship.
“I think there are things that she knows that we didn’t know, but also know that there are things about him that she didn’t know,” he said.
Rose, who worked with Boss, said his brother would often confide in him about struggling with issues like impostor syndrome and together they would come up with ways to tackle his insecurities. He said Boss told him that those conversations were difficult with Holker.
“So in my opinion, our conversation that he had with me, he felt silenced, like he couldn’t get it out,” Rose said about how he thinks his brother felt in his own home.
He added that Boss loved his wife and children.
“But in any situation in which you can’t have a conversation and get resolve, it becomes one-sided and I believe, ’cause you asked about their relationship, I can say that there are many conversations, there was no resolve.”
Reaction to the article
After the People magazine article was published, members of the Boss family and some members of the public began reacting negatively online.
Holker put out a statement in response, saying, in part, that she hoped by “sharing our full story, maybe I can help someone else who might see themselves or a loved one in Stephen.”
Rose said he does not see accountability in the above statement.
“If that is what you want to convey or share to the public, bringing up someone’s journal entries, that’s not how you expose it. There could have been, ‘hey, this is my experience and I wanna let people know what to look for,”” Rose said. “But to use my brother’s name and make it seem like he had this serious addiction problem and this sexual abuse allegation, that could have been true, that could have been true, but that isn’t — I don’t think that’s the reason why my brother isn’t here today.”
Rose said he thinks why his brother is no longer here is a question for Holker, as his wife.
“I think she knows more than us because she was there,” he said. “She knows his last known whereabouts. She knows the last conversation they had.”
Healing after loss
To heal, Alexander called on the need to extend an offer for conversation. For Rose, it goes beyond that. He said the family has offered to speak outside of social media over the past two years but claims messages and phone calls have been left unread or not acknowledged.
“It’s changed behavior,” he said. If you make an act that shows kindness, if you embody the spirit that my brother had of kindness and love and light, give that light to his family … Help his family heal, because we’re going through it as well,” Rose said.
As she remembers her beloved son, Alexander said she misses his face the most.
“Whenever we were apart, we would get back together. The first thing I would say is, ‘oh, there’s my face. There’s my face,'” she recalled.
In a statement to CBS News, Holker said, “Connie has and will continue to be a positive and loving figure in [Allison and Stephen’s son] Maddox and [daughter] Zaia’s lives. From Grandparent’s Day at school to family lunches, ice cream dates and [Stephen’s brother] Cameron’s video game meetups with Maddox, we hope to continue these traditions over the years and work together to keep Stephen’s memory alive.”
Following the release of Holker’s book, Alexander has released a new statement to CBS News, saying in part, “At the time of sitting down with Gayle, my intention was to be honest yet graceful toward Allison as I struggled to make sense of her actions since my beloved Stephen’s passing.
Devastated does not begin to describe my pain. My only hope is that she finds peace and healing, and puts an end to inflicting pain.”
If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or suicidal crisis, call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 988 or 1-800-273-TALK (8255). For more information about mental health care resources and support, The National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) HelpLine can be reached Monday through Friday, 10 a.m.–10 p.m. ET, at 1-800-950-NAMI (6264).
